Sneak Peek!An extract from Naturally Rude - when Ian goes shopping with his girlfriend..  'You don't think it makes me look . . . fat?' Oh, no. I beam. 'Nah!' 'But my bum does look big.' What am I supposed to say? Her bum does look big. But it always looks big. It is big. It's magnificent. It's one of the best things about her figure. My grin's fixed. 'No way.' She's glaring. 'Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. My bum looks big in this, right?' 'I liked the neckline on that green one.' 'I didn't ask you that.' Her eyes are burning. 'I asked you, does my bum look big in this?' She's glaring at me. The shop assistant's glaring at me. Any minute they're going to discover I've wrecked the couch, and on top of that, we're now speeding towards Death Star Fat at twice the speed of light and there's no escape. 'Ian?' I'm drowning. What can I do? I know, I'll make her laugh. She loves it when I'm funny. I fold my arms, smile broadly and say, 'Hey, your bum always looks big. Just take the one with the bow.' |